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    July 05

    意识流

    累的时候是不是就会有很多意识流呢
    或者是本来就有的东西,因为身体累,就也跑到意识里面来打转了……

    去大连的时候,带回来一支笔,粘土做的外壳,是个向日葵,自己很是喜欢,还一心想带回家带回家。人就是那么奇怪,什么才是可以控制的呢?如果真正什么都要控制好不好呢?现在对待不同的事情,已经会用不同的心态去处理了,该慢的慢,该快的快,想想,从六一儿童节到现在,也不过一个月的时间,再想想从那个时候到现在的心理状态,有过什么改变没有。似乎在慢慢的坚定,也似乎在慢慢的动摇……我不是在害怕,只是我需要专注……

    从考完认知出来,我欣喜若狂,那两天都有点痴颠了,由于还有一科考试,焦虑加上喜悦,真是达到躁狂的阈限了。说不清楚那样的喜悦是怎样一点一点占据自己,慢慢的从心底里发出。却没有想要立即回的意思,没有电话,也没有短信,我都惊讶于自己的沉静,只是抑制不了喜悦而已。

    晚上,写了几句话但也不曾发出去,没有什么可以说的,似乎这样是最好的,好比自己作为局外人在欣赏一个故事,一段音乐,我回味着,现在还有喜悦的味道……

    今天爬长城有些累了,特别是回来洗澡之后,想到很多东西,或许都不是想到的,而是一直存在只是没有被意识注意到的吧。人是很奇怪的,非要控制的话,行为感情都可以控制的,但也有做不到的,潜意识做不到的,由不经意的行为和想法表现出来,我在反思我自己,越发的明白自己,有时候,只有坚定才能够明白……

    给我一个支点,我可以把地球翘起
    给我一个期限,我可以把时空望穿
    如果这辈子我能活70岁,那半辈子又何妨?


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